Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Our Favorite Quotes

The list on the side was getting really long, so I thought I'd post a link to this post instead, and we can just list all our fave quotes here! :D And yes, my OCD demanded I categorize them. ;)


Quotes of/for Women (and Such);


-"I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive."


-"Women are like angels. When someone clips our wings we keep flying....on a broomstick! Yeah, we're flexible like that."


-"'OMG HE'S COMING! ACT NATURAL!!' *you both stare awkwardly at the ground*"

-"When I die, I want my last words to be, 'I'm too sexy for this life!'"


-"Before you criticize a man, you should walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you criticize him, you're a mile away and you have his shoes!"


-"Why do you love that celebrity so much?! They're never going to love you back."
"Why do you breathe when you know you're eventually going to die?!?"

-"All the hot guys are jerks, all the nice guys are ugly, and all the in-between guys are gay."

-"Dear Lord; Please put your arm around me today, and your hand over my mouth."

-"My life has a superb cast, but I can't figure out the plot!"

-"Good girls are found in every corner of the Earth. Unfortunately, Earth is round."

-"Well-behaved women rarely make history."


-"The average woman would rather have beauty instead of brains, because the average man can see better than he can think."


-"Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button, you'll be disconnected!"


-Q: What are three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere?
 A: Hold my purse!


-"If women ran the world, we wouldn't have wars; just intense negotiations every 28 days.

Quotes of Insanity and Other Madness;


-"I yawn in the face of danger."


-"If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless."


"I used to keep an open mind, but my brains kept falling out."



-"I just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back."



-"When life hands you lemons, make grape juice, then sit back and watch the world wonder how you did it."

-"Trouble. . . causes problems."

-"I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is, there is no bad news. The bad news is, that's all the good news I have.

-"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."

-"'Did you just fall?'
'No, I attacked the floor.'
'Backwards?'
'I'm freakin' talented!'"

-"Shut up, voices! Or I'll poke you with a Q-tip again. . . ."

-"The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory."

-"The world can be amazing when you're slightly strange."

-"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!"


-"Remember what mother used to say: God gave you a big sister instead of brains."


-"If grease were brains, you wouldn't grease too big a skillet!"


-"What if they think you're a boob? . . . I do." *grins creepily*

-"Laugh, and the world laughs with you. Laugh hysterically for no apparent reason, and they'll leave you alone."


-"Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have the film."


-"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives."


-"He who laughs last thinks slowest."


-"The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on."


-"Ideas don't stay in some minds very long because they don't like solitary confinement."


-"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."


-"The sole purpose of a child's middle name is so he can tell when he's really in trouble."


-"Never go to bed angry; stay awake and plot your revenge."


-"It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road."

Quotes of Randomness;

-"'SILENCE, YOU IMBICILE!!' Jiggly bellowed, then slunk off creepily, his legs bent in a position that is alarmingly difficult to stand in, much less slink in. Miggy stood dumbfounded for a moment, then applauded Jiggly's amazing leg strength. 'GIVE IT UP FOR THE SLINKY!!' he shouted."

-"A chicken is a flightless bird, stupid and tasty."

-"Dakota: Am I amazing?
Guppy: All humans seem the same to me."

-"Turn me down and I'll slit your tires!"

- "2011~ Did you fart? 1800~ Didst thou bloweth ye butt trumpet?!"

- "2011~ What are you smoking? 1800~ Hath demons contaminated thy mind?!"

- "2011~ I'm sexy and I know it! 1800~ I'm physically attractive, and I'm aware of this statement!"

-"I never met a man so big he can't hide behind a PLANE!"

-"When nothing goes right, go left!"

-"There's no such thing as an automatic door! There's just gentlemen ninjas."

-"You usually don't care about what other people are saying. . . until they start whispering."

-"This quote is in Spanish when you're not looking."

-"We live in an age where pizza gets to your home before the police."


-"Guns don't kill people. Fathers with beautiful daughters kill people."


-"Last night I lay in my bed, looking up at the stars in the sky, and I thought to myself, 'Where the heck is the ceiling?'"


-"When I die, I want to go peacefully, like my Grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car."


-"What do you mean, my birth certificate expired?!?"


-Q: What do you get when you cross The Godfather with a lawyer?
 A: An offer you can't understand.


-"A penny saved is ridiculous."


-"The only mystery in life is why the kamikaze pilots wore helmets."


-"The evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening,' then proceed to tell you why it isn't."


-"I have to exercise early in the morning, before my brain figures out what I'm doing."


-"Dogs have masters. Cats have staff."


-"If it’s sent by ship then it’s a cargo, if it’s sent by road then it’s a shipment."


P.S. I think I lost a few in transition. . . . oh well.  ;)

6 comments:

  1. lol:P You also forgot to do pics

    ReplyDelete
  2. SOOO-RRY!! X) I'll fix that. . . .

    ReplyDelete
  3. There!! Fixed. I hope you're satisfied!! ;D and lol look what I found, Dessy!! That last picture there. . . . isn't that INTERESTING?!?!?!? XD BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! :D :D :D :D

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  4. lol:P I PRACTICALLY DIED WHEN I SAW THAT LAST PIC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    And the bassoon one was pretty funny as well:)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Destiny Diddlesworth20 June, 2012

    DESTINY IS CURRENTLY DYING!!! AHAHAHAHHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA MY NEW FAVOURITE PICTURE RIGHT THERE! :'D

    ReplyDelete
  6. BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD ;D ;D LOL I'm glad you find it as amusing as I did. X) I saw it and thought, "I NEED TO SHOW SUNNY AND DESSY AND PUT THIS ON THE BLOG!!!" ;D hehehehehe <3

    ReplyDelete

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